San Pedro Pool Opening in Summer

San Pedro Park pool is open today.
Today, the shouts of cicadas
Are drowned by lions and tigers
From a century before,
Roaring through the voices of children.


He Knows Better

I’m convinced I miss you
The truth is, I miss me
And the memory of how happy I used to be

The person who was with you
Could make others laugh
And see the future with confidence and clarity

He was a good-looking man
And a good one
And really good to me
And I’ll probably never do better than him.

Sometimes I think of calling him
Asking him to take me back
Promising him, “this time it’ll be different”
But I think he knows better.

1.1 Definitions (Updated 2018)

Fundamentals properties of the universe (existence, possibility, reality, δ-constant, ί) – The fundamental measures of the universe as dictated by the sublime question. Existence (ε) and possibility (τ) are both limit-defined scalars that can have any value between 0 and 1, but never 0 nor 1, and neither can share the exact value of the other at the same time. ε and τ have an inverse relationship with each other, and as they approach each other, they will avoid matching their values because the value of δ-constant always separates them. Reality always has a value of 1, except at it’s singularity poles (θ), where it has values of 0 and 1 simultaneously.

Existence ( ε ) The measure of all real “things” in the universe that have been expressed as true at a given point along the existential continuum, represented as a scalar between all values between the limits of 0 and 1. As ε approaches 1, τ approaches 0.

Possibility ( τ ) The measure of existence yet able to be expressed at any point along the existential continuum. Possibly may have an as-yet-to-be confirmed relationship with negative existence (έ). As ε approaches 0, τ approaches 1.

Reality ( Φ ) – In QR/BE literature, all instances of reality should be taken to mean “existential reality;” all references to “perceptual reality” will and should be written as such. While the reality of perception has 4 dimensions, existential reality has 5+1: x, y, z, έ, δ-offset, and ί. Don’t forget to double that if you include negative-reality. Reality can always be summed up as such: Φ = ε + τ + δ.
Reality, both in the theoretical and figurative meaning, can best be described as a fairly simple multi-limit container function running several other limit functions within. Why? The shortest answer to that is the poetic answer: the universe is asking itself the most important question it can, and it’s stuck between two answer that are not just terrible, they’re logically impossible. I know. You’ll probably have to read that chapter a few times before you have a chance of taking that seriously, but I wouldn’t be writing it if I wasn’t convinced.

δ-constant (δ) every jar needs to be missing a bean or two for the other beans to be able to slide around each other. The delta-constant (δ) is the reason any predicted calculation or experiment, no matter how meticulous, will always be just a bit off. It’s also the reason you were able to wriggle your pinky to scratch your bum five minutes ago when you thought no one was looking. It’s also why you aren’t a big, gross, colorless, tofu-textured mass fused with everything else in the universe. All that space between yourself and the walls of your house? Not really there. Things are actually quite crowded in existential reality, and more by the moment. Luckily, we don’t see that, and our representation of space is a nice illusion. That’s why mainstream scientists are confused why we’re speeding up and spreading apart when at some point we’re supposed to start folding back in. We are, we just can’t see it. To our eyes, the universe will appear keep stretching out, and out, and out, until… More on that in the future, though.
A final note about the delta: there’s every possibility that, with every iteration of reality, the δ-constant changes. So the constant might actually be a… uh… variable. But only while we don’t exist, so as long as we could possibly have a use for it, it stays a constant. There’s no way to find out for sure unless you figure out how to survive multiple instances of reality, but there’s no reason for it not to. In fact, if it did, it might create an outlet for certain universal stresses which might explain why cyclic reality is so sustainable, and remember, if it wasn’t sustainable, it might not exist in the first place. Who knows what iteration we’d be on?

( ί ) to be continued at a later date. I suspect some of you who pay attention to my mad ravings know what this is.

Causality the notion a thing in a state of existence must have another state of existence preceding and precipitating it, regardless if the state belonged to the same “thing” in question. The state preceding “causes” the state current to exist.

Causal Persistence (Law of) If information disappears when it is no longer true, then current states of existence would be impossible because the previous state’s causality generates information of its previous existence. Information, therefore, must be persistent throughout the existence continuum from the point it is created until the end of continuum cycle.

Configuration ( ε ), Existential Configuration – points along the existential continuum; similar to time in terms of perceptual reality, however, since time progresses relative to other elements of perceptual reality (i.e. existential symptoms) and has no constant relationship with existential reality, it is not useful for measuring it. Instead, we use configurations of existence, which are exactly that; for every state of (ε) between 0 and 1, there is a configuration(ε) of that value, which in functionality could be said to be a “slice” of the three-dimensional reality in the current state of its existence.

Existential Continuum – Rather than the space-time continuum, which is only a result of our perception of existential symptoms, the real measure of the universe is taken in the existential continuum.

Existential Direction – The direction in which the existential continuum is moving between singularity poles, which can be described as a simple one-dimensional Euclidian vector with two possible values: existence-positive (ε) or existence-negative (έ); the term possibility-positive (τ) can also be used interchangeably with existence-negative (έ). For the purposes of practicality, all QR/BE principles and discussion should be assumed within the context of existence-positive continuum, as either we likely can only exist on the existence positive plain, and if we don’t, then there isn’t any functional difference within existence-negative.

Existential Symptoms – derivative elements of perceptual reality: time, gravity, distance are the main three elements.

Metaphysics – the study of the first principles of things, including abstract concepts such as being, knowing, identity, time, and space; Metaphysics attempts to answer two basic questions: 1) Ultimately, what is there? 2) What is it like?

Metaphysiology – the aspects of individual somatic experience which lie beyond the scope of conventional physiology to describe; (specifically in G. H. Lewes’ terminology) the treatment of life and the mind as distinct from and requiring different criteria for explanation from questions of physiology (now historical).

Ontology – the study of existence: it’s nature, categories, and hierarchies.

Reductionism (physics) – the view that mechanical and physical properties of the universe can be described in completeness by its minimal parts, or that the whole of the universe operates according to the sum of its parts, and the approach taken by string theory and most quantum physics.
In QR/BE theory, the sum parts operate according to the whole of the universe, and sum parts can be any whole number between 0 and infinity, never 0 nor infinity, and their sum along with current δ-constant always equals the whole number 1 (see Law of Systems Dominance). If one were somehow able to determine the quantity of existence in the universe at a single point in time, I suppose that wheedling nerd could calculate the δ-constant with this equation: 1 = ((Σ2ε) + δ)­­­­­­⁻¹
Once they calculated the δ-constant, they could then theoretically calculate the remaining possibility, and therefore be able to pinpoint their current position on the continuum, with the following equation: 1 = ((Σε+τ) + δ)­­­­­­⁻¹

Reality Hurts (physics) – Oh, wait, no you couldn’t. While the δ-constant remains valid for the remainder of this iteration of reality, by the time you took five seconds to calculate it, the value of Σε probably changed at least 5 million times, depending on how many people were looking. And because time moves unpredictably in relation to existential reality, you couldn’t even make use it a decent guess. Congratulations, reductionist nerd. You counted all those particles for nothing. Pointless, just like your string theories and life at this point.

Singularity ( θ ) The end and beginning of existence. Similar to its function in the older big-bang theory, the singularity event is the condensation of all existence into one. Unlike the big bang, reality has two singularities — one each end of the existential continuum. At the singularity event, existence has reached 1 and possibility has reached 0, therefore reality takes the simultaneous values of 0 and 1. As you may recall from the fundamentals’ descriptions, neither existence nor possibility can have either of those values. Therefore, they don’t. The singularity is unsustainable, and both values are passed into negative existence. Meanwhile, back at the singularity’s twin at the beginning of the continuum, another round of reality resets with possibility set to just under 1 and existence just above 0.
NOTE: It is possible that the two singularities are really the just one in the same, as in the hypothetical inverse torus model of reality. Unfortunately, there is no way yet to even draw a diagram of this to communicate the ideas to other, since it would require six dimensions to demonstrate. For now, if you can imagine an inverse torus model, by all means. If not, the two-singularity model is functionally no different to the effect of QR/BE theory, as singularities are not places that can be visited by any existential particle or configuration simultaneously. Actually, they can’t be visited at all, because they don’t have time to exist.

System Dominance (Law of) – Systems are always the sums of their components. Systems always add up in the end, no matter the content of their components. Therefore, systems always take precedence over defining their components, and components can never be reliably used to define their system.

Whole Reality (Law of) – At all times in the existential continuum, reality is whole and must = 1 (see Law of System Dominance above). Therefore, reality’s whole value determines the values of its components: existence, possibility, and δ-constant always must add up to 1.

I Remember

Sometimes, just when I’ve forgotten the most, it comes back.
And the times it’s welcome the least, I remember everything.

I remember what it felt like to be in love with you.

I remember the feeling of lying awake at night next to you,
Remembering what it felt like to lie awake at twelve years old,
Terrified that I would never be loved and never lying next to anyone.

I remember the feeling of your chin upon my shoulder
And your face next to mine in the bathroom mirror,
And trying not to look, because mine didn’t deserve to share your reflection.

I remember the feeling of laughing at the coyotes
And our lips wondering while our eyes agreed sadly
The joke would live only between us and the moon.

I remember the feeling of unfamiliar pride
Strange to me every time as the first, to hear old friends
Whispering playful jealousies of the couple across the table.

I remember what it felt like to be helplessly in love with you
– how I never felt the falling, just the knowledge, then the acceptance –
And remember anticipating, since that first day I knew,

What it would feel like losing you.


How to Want (Effectively at Work and Home in 30 Days or Your Money Back)

Late found I this worthwhile want
And I not in want of want
After years and years of wanting not:

An exact and same something
I wanted once, years before,
And after so many years, forgot.

Learned I thro’ life to leave be
Such as what now comes to me,
Asking I confess that which I’d sought:

I want not her heart, nor her name, nor lips;
At long life’s end, when I’m laid down to die,
I want only her hand clasped within mine.

Going Bananas

It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything for Bones, so here’s a snippet from an unreleased chapter. Enjoy.

After dropping Jackie at school, Jim reluctantly made one last trip to his own campus, just to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything. At least he didn’t have to fight for a parking space this time.

Over the last four weeks of classes, Jim failed his students on a daily basis— and not in the sense he was accustomed to failing them. He enjoyed that, mostly. This, he didn’t. Each lecture was a dreaded exercise in neuroses, as he was unceasingly conscientious that each time his muscles moved his mouth, the bone in his jaw was simply abiding. Every time his finger pointed at a map, he saw that foreign soil interrupted by the bony penetrator. The door to his office no longer kept open, and he avoided advertising how often and long he actually was in there. He didn’t have many hiding spots after he’d surrendered the apartment lease.

Continue reading “Going Bananas”

11:59 in the Garden of Healing

“Sometimes, I’d get so angry just thinking about you, thinking how you were the one who got to be the hero.”

He studied the other’s face for any sign he might take this way or that. But the face didn’t betray much, really. Maybe it looked as if it trying to hold some comment until after his performance was done. It looked a little, perhaps, just a little like it knew this conversation was coming. If so, that made him feel a little better, at least. If he didn’t clear the air now, he’d never get the chance to start this conversation right. Continue reading “11:59 in the Garden of Healing”

A Hypothetical Story About Jesus, by Chado Brown 

It’s Chado’s birthday, so I’m releasing another of his short stories. Happy Birthday, bud. 

Ryan once asked me to write my take on a “What If Jesus Came Back?” kind of story, and while I liked the idea, it never really took root under my skin. I like the idea of Jesus Christ becoming sort of a pop culture icon upon his return and lots of world shaking events occurring globally, showing the resonance of a world afraid of it’s own mortality. But I could never write that. So here’s my simpler, slightly less ambitious story about JC and what he might do upon his return. First draft, comment, critique, enjoy.

It sounds like the setup to a joke: Continue reading “A Hypothetical Story About Jesus, by Chado Brown “